Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

Goodbye, lawyer lady. I am sad that our association has to come to an end, if only because it would have been nice to get my divorce finalised sooner rather than later. But really, after six weeks of trying to contact you to find out what the hell is going on and where the documents are (never mind the wills), I've had enough. Don't bother sending me an account; you haven't sent me anything that would justify your charging me. I know I said I wasn't too fazed about the divorce taking a while, but then I assumed I would actually hear from you once in a while and maybe, just maybe, have a few documents to sign. I'm off to greener pastures, and maybe I'll be divorced before Armageddon.

The Mother City, quite literally

So. Cape Town. Where I will be headed in approximately three weeks, to visit Quite Possibly The Cutest Nieces In The World. And stay with my sister and her lovely, musician husband, where I will be made to work (as in, babysit a six-month-old and possibly an exceedingly energetic four-year-old, oh my lord, help!) instead of sitting back, relaxing, with copious numbers of cocktails being poured down my throat. Oh, sigh. The curse that is family. How on earth will I cope?

In other news, yay! Not. Since this is when I will 'fess to my parents that I am getting divorced. Of course, due to blabbering of aforementioned darling little sister and Mommy being able to add two and two quite correctly, she already knows. But I have not confirmed. I am thus likely to be forced to explain quite why I didn't just tell her already, as well as reiterate that I am not protecting him, thank you very much, I am protecting me! From the gossips. And oh yes, I know, there are plenty of gossips out there quite willing to rip me to shreds.

Oh, hell.

But I will have a damn fine time, because there will be much eating of sushi, and drinking of wine, and seeing of friends. The few I have left in Cape Town, because I left all that cliquey shit behind 14 years ago and my real friends are up here in JHB, where I give thanks for (most of) them every day. And the one of his, who hated me for a while, and then became one of my favourite people in the world, ever. Damn, I miss her.

Time to prepare for the fun and games.

Take note

Family and friends, Ryan Tomorrow says everything I'd like you to keep in mind when I tell you I'm getting divorced. Please pay attention to his Holiday Guide to Talking About Exes

That is all.